Experts predict a busy hurricane season

Now why does this sound familiar to me? Oh yeah, that’s exactly what was said last year. Of course, last year there were no major hurricanes and the forecasters were proven wrong, but who’s counting? After all, according to the experts, it was global warming that caused the quiet hurricane season. But, then again, the destructive 2005 hurricane season was caused by global warming as well…that and George W Bush (it was mainly Bush’s fault). But this year will be different. This year will be bad.

The latest prediction comes from Colorado State and let me tell you, when I think of a great place to study hurricanes I immediately think of Colorado (they’re just as good as the blizzard experts in Havana I’m sure). According to them, this season will be much worse than last year and I’m sure that’s also because of global warming. After all, scientists think that’s why the penguins are dying and once those little birds start to die out then you’d better get yourself to Home Depot for a generator and some plywood cause it’s gonna be bad, baby! This might even prompt Al Gore to lose a few dozen pounds so his private jet won’t have to burn as much fuel hauling him across the country for one of those high-dollar personal appearances…you know, to do his part and all.

And since we’re predicting things, I have a few of my own. First, I predict that whatever happens this summer, whether it’s another 2005 disastrous season or a 2006 sleeper, I know for a fact it will be due to global warming. That’s just the way global warming works. No matter what the weather does it’s invariably related to human beings doing bad things to the earth. Second, I also predict that whatever happens this summer it will most certainly be because of George W Bush’s environmental policy. After all, global warming and George W Bush are strongly interconnected. The guy was born in 1946 and scientists say that the earth has been getting warmer over the past 5-6 decades. Coincidence? I think not.
So take those two predictions to the bank. If Vegas were putting odds on this then by October I’d be a rich man. Look out Mr. Nostradamus, there’s a new prophet in town!