It's been over a week since I woke up to the story of Andrew Meyer and the taser. It was early, and I was still a bit groggy and not fully awake. The choreography and dancing was horrible, and there was a lot of stumbling, screaming and crying. At first, I thought Britney Spears had performed again the night before, but I was wrong. This was much better than Britney. At that moment, I realized how thankful I was for mini-cams and camera phones. Without these nifty little inventions we may have never witnessed Andrew Meyer's experience.
It started during a John Kerry forum at the Univ of Florida. It was open mic, but apparently Mr Meyer didn't want to share the spotlight. He was told that his time was up, and that he needed to allow others to speak, but Meyer didn't want to cooperate. He then proceeded to launch into a vulgar, nonsensical tirade of criticism typical of the Left-wing crazies, of which Meyer seems to be among the craziest. When the campus police tried to remove him, he resisted...heavily. Eventually, six campus police officers were able to subdue him to the ground, yet his resistance - both verbal and physical - continued. And then, he got the taser. What followed was a lame chorus of "ouch" and "ow" that would make any adult film star look like a grammy winning actor. Of course, there were a few boos and hisses from the audience as they jeered the perceived excessive force. Later that day, several students stated that the campus police behaved inappropriately, that Meyer was a victim. And Meyer himself is now apparently seeking legal action against them. Are they forgetting that all of this was on tape?
I've watched the film many times, mainly because of Meyer's "Don't taze me, bro" protest, and partly because I feel a somewhat sick degree of joy from watching a deadbeat loser get zapped with a cattle-prod. And what I see in this film is a lamo-quasi-activist student taking advantage of John Kerry's appearance to garner himself some fame. Within hours of his zapping, there were websites going up devoted to him and his struggle with The Man. Meyer had this whole thing planned, no doubt, and it appears to have worked to his favor. He became the Rodney King of the slacking, skateboarding, Dungeons & Dragons playing, Xtreme sports watching, HALO conquering, dope-smoking couch jockeys of America; and "Dont taze me bro" has become their battle cry. I know, it's not exactly "We shall overcome", but these aren't exactly America's most outstanding citizens either. The Andrew Meyer's of the world give protestors a bad name, and their anti-establishment MO is pathetic and - judging by his girly ouchy whine - hardly enough to strike fear in those who call the shots. Rosa Parks would have called this guy a pussy.
If you ask me, excessive force is hardly the issue. In fact, I don't think enough force was used. This guy was grandstanding and they should have at least used enough force to discourage that, or make him regret doing it in the first place. If it were me, I would have turned up the voltage a bit on that taser. I would have put enough electricity through this slacker to burn the bong-resin from his brain and erase a few years from his childhood memory. Put it this way, he wouldn't have said "ouch"; at least not until the following week when his neurologic synapses finally reconnected sometime in the middle of his History 101 class. If it were me, I would have had to tell the other officers to "clear" before I hit him with the taser. The lights probably would have dimmed a bit and there may have been some spontaneous bowel evacuation. For the rest of his life he would have felt sub-consciously compelled to lay prone on the ground every time he passed a cop on the sidewalk. But that's just me, and it's probably a good thing that I'm not a cop. And, unfortunately, I probably won't get to serve on any jury in this case. But if I did, I would recommend a medal for the boys in blue who zapped this loser.
As it is, Meyer may be a hero to Generation X-Box, but he is nothing more than a hardy laugh for the rest of us. I've even bought a "Dont taze me bro" t-shirt from Dennis Miller's website. I plan to wear it whenever I go to the gym in remembrance of Andrew and his plight. Thank God for mini-cams.