So I’m flipping through the channels when I come across news coverage of the anti-war protest (at least that's what I thought it was) that was held at the Capitol over the weekend, boy that was an interesting mix of people wasn’t it? Pot-smoking college students looking for a reason to cut class and washed up hippies who’ve been looking for something to protest for the past 40 years. It was strange. There was a guy with a guitar, wearing John Lennon sunglasses and a tie-dyed T-shirt, singing some folkish anti-Bush, they-shot-people-at-Kent State song. At any moment I was waiting for the obligatory "Give Peace a Chance" to breakout, and I’m sure it did at some point. All that was missing was Yoko, John Kerry, burning bras and a few dozen mud people and they would have had an all-star cast of lemming kool-aid drinkers.
Tim Robbins was there, and he said something like "America is the problem in Iraq." Susan Sarandon was there holding his leash, of course (I thought I saw her give him a treat after that comment), and I seem to remember her saying that "we gave nuclear power to India for a box of mangos". What?
I swear if Bush had walked out at that moment, someone would have jumped up and yelled (with an Old English accent) "SORCERER!". It's a good thing the Secret Service kept him away or he may have been the first president ever burned at the stake.
Of course, Sean Penn was there: "I was in Iraq, man. I was there. I know those people." Yeah, we remember, Sean. Before the first American troops moved in you were hanging out with Saddam’s cronies - I guess for moral support. No need to remind me of that one.
Speaking of traitors, Comrade Jane Fonda was there. Of course she was. North Vietnam’s favorite daughter wouldn’t dream of missing an opportunity to bash the United States. There she was, all wrinkled and old, reminded me instantly of the Rolling Stones and how they just refuse to give it up. What is with this Baby Boomer Generation? What, did you guys not screw things up enough in the ‘60s that you have to keep it up into the 21st century? We’re gonna be cleaning up your mess for the next 50 years, enough already. Come on, get over it. Yes, your parents saved the world from the Nazis with incredible personal sacrifice. Yes, they were model American patriots. No, you can’t live up to that. But it’s O-K-A-Y. You don’t have to compensate with belligerence and hate for your country. You don’t have to take it out on America and the rest of us because you feel inadequate. You’ll never reach their level, deal with it.
So I’m watching Comrade Jane walking from the protest, and a reporter from Bill O’Reilly’s show is there shoving a microphone in her face. She’s spewing the usual "we’re evil, we’re mean, we should be punished, Bush is the devil" crap, when he asks about Cambodia, and how 3 million people died there after the US vacated Indochina and if she was concerned the same would happen in Iraq. No answer. Actually, she put her finger to her mouth and said "shhhhh…I’m trying to listen." I guess she was looking for guidance from Tom Cruise. He repeated the question several dozen more times and still no answer – reiterating my prior point that those who oppose the war should provide a plan for dealing with the aftermath, namely the mass genocide that would follow our retreat. Comrade Jane clearly doesn’t have the answer.
For that matter, neither did Penn, Robbins or Sarandon. They didn’t have an answer for the situation in Iran either. So I’m wondering, what do these people want? They just want us to leave Iraq? Then what? They don’t know, they’ll just shrug their shoulders and go looking for something to ease their munchies and wait for the next war or the next anti-American cause du jour. They’ll probably make a few really bad movies in the interim. It’s really quite pathetic.
What’s interesting is that for a split second, I swear I saw Osama Bin Laden there. He was wearing a tie-dyed turban and a hemp necklace, eating a granola bar and chanting "2-4-6-8 who do we incarcerate – Bush!" before breaking into song with "War, huh, what is it good for." Really weird.