God help us, Part 2

So why are kids screwed up? I saw one comment suggesting that perhaps the intense media coverage gives the illusion of increased violence among kids when, in reality, things aren't any worse than they were years ago. I respectfully disagree. No doubt the media coverage is out of hand, but a kid walking into his high school and shooting dozens of classmates would make news in any decade (anyone remember the nut at the clock tower in Austin?). The fact is, it just didn't happen until recently. Now, if you want to suggest that the media coverage somehow romanticizes this type of violence and by doing so inadvertently encourages it, then you may be on to something. But I certainly appreciate the comments, they are always welcome on this site so long as they are written in a respectful manner.

I am by no means an expert, but I have my own opinion for what it's worth. I think this whole problem boils down to one source...we've forgotten how to parent. When it comes to the family, we've seen a trend over the past forty or so years that may explain many of the problems we see in today's kids. Basically, there's been an increase, or an actual emergence, of three parenting styles or family environments that may not be very conducive to proper child rearing.

The first is the most obvious...the single parent home. Before you send hateful emails, understand that I realize the majority of single parents are young women who are doing the best they can for their children despite the so-called father being virtually nonexistant. I understand that and this is not meant to be accusatory. I'm simply pointing out facts that show that kids who grow up in the absence of a parent are more prone to deviant behavior and single parent families have increased dramatically in the past several decades. The statistics don't lie.

The second aberrant parenting style is what I like to call the "express yourself" style. We all know people like this. They say things like, "I want little Johnny to be able to express himself." And so, little Johnny is not disciplined properly. He fails to learn what is acceptable behavior and grows up under the impression that there are no boundaries in life. This style is relatively new, and so long term data on how kids like this turn out is not really available, but I'm willing to take a stab and say that, in general, raising our kids like this can't be good. A six-year old can't be allowed to express himself without any prior experience of how people may react to certain expressions. Kids have to develop proper social skills before moving into the express themselves phase.

The third style...parents who are detached and completely clueless about their kids lives. This is probably the most problematic. We live in a day of selfishness, if the 80's was the decade of greed, then the 00's must surely be the decade of 'me'. When you consider that raising kids requires selflessness to an exponential degree, then it's easy to see how we've lost touch with proper child rearing ability. For example, how many people know couples who actually fight over who's going to take care of the kids that day? Not because each parent wants the kids, but because each parent wants to do something ELSE. Now, how many of us know parents who actually read bedtime stories to their kids? Truth be told, many parents couldn't tell you what their kids were studying in school or name three of their child's friends and what their interests were. No wonder a teenage boy can accumulate 54 guns in his room without his parents knowing it. We're too involved in Desperate Housewives to pay attention to our kids and notice the subtle warning signs that may indicate a problem. It's amazing what can be learned if we turn off the TV and eat dinner together as a family. Maybe if enough of us did that, things would be a little different. Who knows? That's just my humble opinion.